The "fat burning effect"

So there I was, blog stalking.  The kid was talking about how he's training for an iron man contest and he over eats to compensate for the energy burned, etc. etc. etc.  now here's the kicker, at the bottom of the screen there was an add for "5 foods to NEVER eat!" so i caved. . .and i clicked it.  

Now to understand why, you must know that I am secretly still a chunk.  I know, i look so dashingly handsome and fit that it is hard to grasp the concept.  don't think about it too much. . .thats what I do. . .haha unfortunately, not thinking about something doesn't make it go away.  So here i am watching the excessively long intro video to "beyond diet" For only 50 bucks they can teach me what NOT to eat to get myself into the fat burning zone and thus create the fat burning effect! 

here's the catch (for those of you you didn't catch it the first time). . .it's 50 bones. . . who has that kind of money to spend on looking good? I DO!!!!!!! so i bought it. . . no thats a lie, but I did watch the repetitive and tediously prolonged intro. vid. 

What did i learn? a bunch of stuff we all already know that I will share in a couple months when i have washboard abs.  You'll be able to wash your clothes with OberneHosick hard water soap when I'm done!

The video asks "can you imagine your self with a flat stomach?

I propose that, that is not a fair question? 

Once upon a time in MEXICO

. . .So there i was in mexico with older brother Jesse (well at the end of the dream it was jesse, at this point i think it was some general or military officer) and a couple of other people and we were trying to get to the top secret airplane hidden by the government so we could save the day.  we were being chased by our rivals.  There was a gun fight.  Then we got to the airplane but it was just me and jesse (or his soldier counterpart) and the top secret airplane and its like 8 against 2.  fortunately the airplane had a super high tech fancy gun so i lured them in and jesse(or so) got the rest of them except for the boss and then suddenly it was me and Jesse and we were in the military base (now in the USA)with my rival. he was fighting against us in the gun fight but had to team up for the greater good. . .

So I think we flew to get there. . .but the point is suddenly we were in the top secret air force base and we were searching for a top secret jet with special abilities which would be just what we needed to stop the evil genius' plot to do something evil and geniusy.  Anyways that was surprisingly easy so we get in the Jet.  Jesse is driving, and my rival morphs into my buddy Titan and everyone starts freaking out and saying hey someone is stealing the top secret jet! so we're trying to get lift but we weren't going very fast.  I thought "hey jesse why are you driving so slow there is no way we are going to make it over that fence." We didn't.

  Soooo we had to turn around and try again but this time we are going towards the base but still going way too slow.  surprisingly (but no that surprisingly) no one tries to do anything to stop us. (they most have known our cause was a just one) but I say "Jesse, we aren't going to have room look we need to go to the road so we have more space to lift off!" so we go over there and I'm like oh i hope we don't run anyone off the road, and then i see a car coming up on the side of us (yes, the car passed a top secret jet. i'm telling you jesse was driving like a gramma, or how a gramma would drive if she were driving a JET!!!! COME ON JESSE PICK IT UP A BIT!!)  Anyways I look down and who is there but good ole' stephanie nickerson and her family.  I'm thinking hey thats stephanie nickerson whats she doing here and then she starts waving at me and Titan so I'm like hey look it's stepanie nickerson and titan was like we need to lift off now! so i yell at jesse to speed up and we lifted up and then. . .

I woke up.  thanks a lot boss for calling me and telling me we aren't working today till 4 cuz it rained too much yesterday.  awesome.  now we'll never know if the geniusy plan was foiled or not.  (deep sigh)

i enjoy a good laugh!

I can always count on britton kowalk's blog along with his friend blog. they are a HOOT! no really i find great stuff there, like this
It is great.



sometimes i want to write a post and have nothing to say. sometimes i have something to say and no time to write a post.

I went snowboarding in my board shorts on saturday.that was so fun people kept giving us the funniest looks. they* would glance down at me presumptuously and state in a dinasque (dih-nàsk) undertone , "um wow uh this is awkward. . .um i don't really know how to say this without hurting anyone's feelings but hey buddy um i dunno if you noticed. . .but your manner of dress is well. . .not well suited for your endeavors." to this i would look them square in the eye and reply,"who you callin buddy, pal?" or "Jumping jaguars dave!" (dave lives next door, he came w/me)"we forgot our body temperature stabelizing protective outerwear! how will our anatomy keep its hard fought homeostasis?" dave would look at me with a slight tinge of fright in his eye and say "Tim, i just don't know. it looks like we're in quite the conumdrum. good thing i brought this nongate equalizer. it should peleinge that dinasque** migglek." To this the muggle would say with emphasis, "I certainly hope the reader clicked on that dinasque link and scrolled to the bottom and read the definition of dinasque. it would also be benificiary if they read the whole post about captcha's." at which time me and dave would look at one another and simultaniously think "when did a muggle come into the story?" at which point i'll have to go back and edit one in with a handy "*". how convenient asteriks are. asterick should be a captcha and it was at this time that the wizard duel got ugly. sparks flew and we were banned from wizarding at Brighton ski resort evermore. good day to you

*They being a small crowd of muggles, the foremost being a tall lanky man with large ears, wearing large purple sweat pants. (excuse me sir where do you get off criticizing my apparel decisions)
**. . .that dinasque. Harry suddenly jumped from behind the large eared gangly chap and yelled ferociously at Malfoy migglek! Ron couldn't believe Harry would use such a cruel curse, even on the vile Malfoy, but his shock was nothing in comparison to harry's when later the wizarding duel got ugly. To this the muggle. . .